So you want to join the burlesque ranks of the best and the brightest? Sounds groovy, but you need to work to get some work! Working hard at this art form is what you need to stick out in the community- a community saturated with fledgling as well as established performers all over the world.
**It has been pointed out that I should clearly mention that I am a SEATTLE based performer and producer (though I travel as a performer both nationally and internationally) and my opinions on producing have mostly come from my experience in Seattle. This piece is meant to start a conversation, not to be an end all to producing. There are many ways to see a community and to create a piece of art. Happy teasing, ya’ll!
______________________________________________________________________
Producing shows is a point of pride for me, and because of my successes and failures over the past 3 years of producing burlesque shows I thought that it would be useful to some to write about some of my opinions about producing a good, entertaining and successful show.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about competitions, merit, and voting. Today, I hit my “burlesque pet-peeve” peek. I’ve hit it before, but not having any bit of a platform (not like my blog is much more of one now) I’ve always decided to keep it to myself or share my ideas in a stitch and bitch circle with my closest burly ladies.
***Below are my personal opinions on mentorship. I have a big mouth, and this is my blog. Be warned.***
As I sit here, as I often do after reading my books and autobiographies about success and successful people, all I really wanted to share is: GET THEE TO A MENTOR!
When I began burlesque 6 years ago I had forgotten what it was like to have a mentor, as my previous mentor had been in high school by the name of Scott Brown and he was most likely the most influential teacher (and my vocal jazz teacher) I have ever had. I had forgotten because I got all tied up in the glitz and glam of the whole thing, and not the bones and blood of it.
I have been a part of planning BurlyCon in different ways since it’s beginning 3 years ago, and just like a fine wine-it gets better with age. In the last 2 years (just 2 years!) the number of attendees has DOUBLED in size, a testimony that burlesque is here to stay, is constantly evolving, and many people from all over the country are aching to take classes from their peers and legends.
Oh man.
I’ve been in some good, some bad and some great shows. I’ve performed in shows featuring Catherine D’Lish, Miss Indigo Blue, Michelle L’amour and others. I’ve been the feature in lesser-known (but still a blast) shows, and simply a performer in others. No matter what the show is, or who the hell I am on the totem pole of burlesque, I try to handle myself in exactly the same way. With courtesy and grace.
These are simply the opinions of one glittery burlesquer.
Written 2 years ago, it’s a little revised (hey, my opinions can change!), but to some, still helpful.
Let’s face it kids. There’s good burlesque, and not so good burlesque. You’ve seen it. You’ve wanted to ask for your money back. Bad music, boring awkward performers, lackluster performances….
Not everyone likes the same thing, but here’s a few things that some of my peers and I have discussed.
1. Get a name and make it yours. Make it unique. If you are trying to rip off a more famous performer than yourself with your name, you suck. I’m sorry, but you do. I’m sure you think you’re being clever, or somehow it will make you seem more interesting, but unless you’re an interesting performer, it doesn’t matter what your name is. Also, make sure you can get away with your name. NO ONE but Ultra could pull off that fucking name, because he’s Ultra fabulous. If your name has the word “Sassy” in it, make sure your are, etc.
2. If you decide to be a peeler, please look at yourself from all angles in the mirrors.
*Cut off your tags please!
*Please gussy up your underwear a bit. Sears panties look bad.
*the tinier the better! Hottie McNaughty and I were having a conversation the other night about this. She’s not into the thong, but she is into butt cleavage. I’m a big fan of tiny thong underwear. We both agree that there should be some element of risque in your panties. Maybe they just fit really well….hug your delicious curves!
*Wearing a corset every act can be boring.
*Wearing ruffle butt panties every act can also be VERY boring
*Wearing black fishnets every act is annoying. There are different colors of fishnets and stocking and socks and cute things for your legs!
*you don’t have to have tassels on the pasties. Not twirling? Don’t worry about tassels!
*just because you might be a bigger girl doesn’t mean you have to wear huge granny panties. For a great reference, please go to youtube and watch videos of Dirty Martini. I want to do Dirty things to Dirty Martini. She’s simply fabulous.
3. HAVE STAGE PRESENCE!
Sorry, you can’t buy this. Granted, not everyone has me on their favorite burlesque gal list, but I’ve been told since I was 15 that I had amazing stage presence. What I’ve witnessed over the years of being obsessed with watching live performances, is that you can’t buy it. You either have it, or don’t. This does not mean that having stage presence will make your act especially interesting unless you make it so. Conversely, I’ve seen amazing dancers have no stage presence, and unfortunately, maybe they should just teach. It’s that French je ne sai quoi thing, ya know?
4. If your going to do the “Classic” strip tease thing, at least be really good at it. Practice, practice, practice!I recommend watching videos of Catherine D’Lish, and then perhaps considering giving up altogether (joking. Kind of).
5. Emote! Ladies, please stop with the Cock in the Mouth face (CITM) throughout your whole act. It looks icky. Try smiling! Try closing your mouth! I personally suggest practicing face expressions in the mirror while mimicking your act to the music. This is how you will find out if you are a culprit of CITM.
6. If you are embarrassed to be on stage, we will be embarrassed for you. This makes an awkward situation. If you can’t be fierce when you step on the stage, (Nerves are normal-I have to do funny breathing and talk to myself before I get on stage) THEN CONSIDER STAYING OFF THE STAGE UNTIL YOU’RE READY. Go take some great classes from some of the greats, like Miss Indigo Blue, do some soul searching as to whether you’ve really found your calling and then stick to your guns.
7. Be courteous. BE ON TIME! sure, sometimes you have to be late, but either prearrange it or have your producer on speed dial. There are a few chronically late performers in this town, and they are fucking with the start times of shows. So be on time! And producers: start punishing.
8. Do your damn hair please. Okay? Thanks. This means brushing, curling, pinning setting etc. Your costume DOES INCLUDE your hair. Invest in quality wigs if your hair won’t do what you want it to. I learned that the hard way. Miss Indigo Blue was so good as to point that out to me.
9. MAKEUP: if you aren’t wearing eyelashes, I’m disappointed in you. Actually, a lot of us are. We can’t see your pretty eyes from back here! you look unfinished! If you are uncomfortable wearing makeup, perhaps you are in the wrong art form. Perhaps you should consider a different avenue. Take a makeup class. More is *usually* better on stage. Even stage actors, and performance artists will employ the use of a lot of makeup. Making your face pop while staying true to yourself is totally possible. Just watch the blush. *shudder*.
PS: yes, I do think you do need lipstick and liner. It makes the occasional intentional CITM face look amazing.
10. Shoes. Yes…..we are looking at your feet. And some of your shoes are ugly. Chunky heels are a little outdated, depending on the look your going for in your act. Practice walking in your heels. Spend a day in them! Get a drag queen to teach you her walking tips! Watch Showgirls!
*this does not include those of you trained dancers that use ballroom or character shoes. I get it, they’re more sturdy for the awesome stuff you’re about to do. -Just remember-rhinestones and appliques can totally go on shoes too. Spice em up!
11. Watch a ton of burlesque. Submerge yourself in it. Swim in it! Breathe it.
12. You don’t have to have a ton of money to put into your costume (though it is nice), you need to pay attention to how it fits, and the tiny touches, the embellishments and alterations. It’s how it looks, not how much it costs. But unfortunately, I’ve seen some acts that just look cheap. If you’re no good at putting together a costume, hire someone to do it for you, ask another burlesque gal for advice. Seriously, it’s better this way.
13. If you can’t get past your body flaws for the 3 minutes you’re on stage, none of us are. If you’re walking on the stage thinking about how chubby you feel, it’s going to show on your face. You’re going to look uncomfortable, and that’s when people are going to go to the bar or grab a cigarette. True story.
14. Don’t get hammered before or during your show. I’ve done it before. It aint pretty, and you are ripping off the audience. *silently apologizes for some past actions as a baby burlesquer*
15. If you can’t twirl, just don’t. Please. Unless it’s for the funny. Then go for it!
16. Community is important. Try to be a part of it! Some of us are outspoken, and some aren’t. We’re all in it together though, and most of us are thrilled that there are others that are interesting in this fun, sexy, raunchy art. Being a part of community allows you to make your own decisions about what is important to you. You might think I’m full of shit, and this is your prerogative. These are simply the opinions of one glittery burlesquer.
And Added By Hottie McNaughty:
16. If you’re interested in performing at a venue or continually running show, how about attending the show and supporting it? As a producer, it’s always a treat to see performers support the shows!
17. If you’re lip synching, please make sure you’re aware of it. Have it be a part of your act and not a nervous habit.
18. Enough with the black and red already! PLEASE choose an interesting color combination. You’re on stage! It’s your moment, don’t disappear on stage wearing all black. Also, bright colored costumes make it easier for the pick up artists!
19. Unless it’s a specific to your act, try not to look like you’ve just rolled out of bed and decided to get on stage. As Sydni mentioned above it’s not just all costume. Hair and make-up are important finishing touches.
Originally posted on myspace.com and then linked in http://bloodrhinestoneproductions.wordpress.com/2008/11/04/what-to-do-and-not-to-do-as-a-good-burlesque-performer/
The costumes. The glamour. Alone on a stage with a sea of admiring, intrigued people. The community. The movement. The tease. Entertaining the audience.
I suppose I do it for the fleeting glorious moments on stage. There is nothing like commanding an audience to look at you, to see what ideas you are putting onto the stage. For the hour before hitting the stage, I primp, polish and review my music, walk around in my rhinestoned heels to make sure I feel stable, fret a little, and stretch my arms to make sure that they are as graceful as they can be. I often order a Manhattan and if there’s access to the mainfloor, sit with a friend or my beau to watch the rest of the show before I go on, or if I’m first, join them there after I’ve changed out of my costume.
I admit, I do like it when people talk to me before and after a show, admiring my performances, my presence, my presentation. It tickles me. It means I’m doing my job right. The shy human in the corner trying not to stare appreciatively also pleases me to no end.
I do it, because being entertaining is fulfilling to me, the costumes delight me, and dancing feeds my soul. The first moments on stage are absolutely electric. You have a very small amount of time to grip the audience into believing your story on stage. I feel as if those moments are the most important, since it’s excruciatingly hard to regain them in the middle or end of the act. You certainly don’t want them to be happy you’re done with an act, do you?
I’m mostly inspired by my community in Seattle by the likes of Waxie Moon, Evilyn Sin Claire, Inga Ingenue, Miss Indigo Blue, Ernie Von Schmaltz, Ben De La Creme, Heidi Von Haught and a few others. Their imagination, confidence and skill are phenomenal assets to our performance communities.
When I first began my crazy trip into a glitter wonderland, I found Catherine D’Lish, Immodesty Blaize, Tigger!, Julie Atlas Muz, Michelle L’amour, The Pontani Sisters and Miss Dirty Martini and nearly lost my mind watching their deeply unique and fascinating interpretations of their burlesque. They entertain me and make me think. I very much appreciate that I have had wonderful interactions and with some, friendships that continue to make my stay here in the world of burlesque a worthwhile one.
I’ve been at it for since 2005, and I’m only picking up speed!
Blog at WordPress.com.
Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.
