Stripper Talk #15: Accessing “Sexiness”

Author of Stripper Talk, Sydni Deveraux

Hello world! It’s Stripper Talk time again! This is a place where I field questions and answer them to the best of my ability, hopefully giving anyone who’s interested in burlesque some insight.

This week’s question comes from “BB” who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Hello Sydni,

My problem I am coming to you is this:

I am having trouble letting myself be sexy. I feel awful in my skin and presence when attempting to do anything sexy.

I am fairly new to burlesque with just over a year under my belt, but over 10 years experience with performing in general. I love being on stage and neo-burlesque style comes to me with ease. I feel totally comfortable and sexy when I am doing a silly, raunchy, playful and even dark humored routine, but as soon as I attempt a serious sexy strut or slow and sultry classic strip I feel so uncomfortable; I immediately do a silly face or air hump to break the serious tension. I don’t allow myself to be sexy. I don’t believe I am sexy enough to do a routine where I am acknowledging myself as a sexy woman. I am an average figured woman (not small enough to be considered skinny and not large enough to be considered a big beautiful woman) Too average to be sexy. This problem came apparent when attended a Lola Frost beginner chair dance workshop. I entered the class and looked around at all the beautiful sexy women- I know I should not compare myself to others, but I did- I felt not sexy and that I didn’t belong there or that I didn’t belong in the burlesque world at all. I love that anything is possible with burlesque and I want to go as far as I possibly can with it. This hang up is holding me back and I have no idea of how to get over it. Any tips, advice or stories will help… or even assurance that I am normal for that matter. 

Thank you so much Sydni, you are so inspirational I am grateful for your time and blog. Your words and wisdom are life changing. 

 xoxo “Bumbling Beauty”

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