The Emergence of: #Determined to Suck

I haven’t written a blog in awhile. I have to say it’s been a nice break- one that’s been needed. 

Between the last blog and now I’ve relocated to Brooklyn from Seattle, taken on an Associate Producer role with Wasabassco, headlined 3 festivals, competed again for Queen of Burlesque in Vegas and joined a band, Empire Beats. In my “off” time I study esotericism, try to be a good wife and love on my sweet dogs. The last 7 months have been intense. I’ve been trying to keep up, be better, do better, be EVERYTHING. 

That’s why my unlikely project “#Determined to Suck” has come up for me. I need to let myself suck at stuff. Since I was a wee child, kindergarten age, I’ve been struck by the nasty bug of perfectionism. My teachers used to write my mother about it and about the tantrums I would throw if I didn’t get a math problem right. It never got much better, though I stopped outwardly crying and stomping and mostly stuffed it all inside. 

For the last four years of my almost 10 year performing career I have treated every instance of performing as an indicator as to whether I was a worthwhile human being or not. For the previous six I was in the beginning just too jazzed about burlesque to think about being better yet, and then I was drunk for a lot of it. I’m sure that some of you artists that are reading my blog right now will feel a kinship with me over some of this. We all also know that it’s not healthy. But as a human that picked the arts and creativity as my career path from a very early age it’s a natural evolution unless you do something to stop it, or you’ve had a healthier childhood than I (and I hope you have). 

Last week as I was at my second ever gig with my band- a 250 person wedding- I found myself in a little conversation with our sound tech, Seth. He seemed to me to be an artistic overachiever- playing instruments and working with artists in studios, I was floored by his enthusiasm to play multiple roles in the artistic path and with one of them (I think it was painting) he said “I totally suck at it”. When I affirmed to him that maybe with time it would get better, he made it clear that it was fantastic to suck at things. And that stuck with me. 

So- I’ve been thinking about it since then. And today I asked myself what would be a fun, not super-expensive thing to suck at? Watercolors, I thought would do the trick. I love pretty colors, the possibility of different brushes and that I could take as much or as little time as I wanted to create a piece of terrible terrible art. 

It is my intention with this project to let myself suck at it. And to have fun doing so, often- I hope even every day. I spend too much time trying to make just the right decisions for my performing career (especially when I’m creating a new act as I am right now) and beat myself up for every little flaw that in my estimation I’ve grown stagnant in a way.

I’ll be painting in my art room that I share with my husband, Scott- who happens to be a ridiculously great artist, so the contrast will always be there. It will be unlikely that I will ever be able to convince myself that I am good at this. Ha! 

So, though my blog before has focused on advice- and I still very much give it when someone asks (you can still email me questions to Glitterwonderland (at) gmail), I re-dedicate my blog to the exploration of being successful as a creative entity in this world, writing about the journey, it’s hits and misses, and in general trying to allow myself to be perfectly imperfect.

So here’s my first attempt at being okay with sucking: Eartha Kitt as Catwoman.

 10616392_10152414602353845_8513435658537615804_n

More blogs on being a “weirdo declaring her humanity publicly despite being a perfectionist” later. I’m sure at sometime during the middle the night I will wake up and want to erase this. Liberation is challenging, I say. 

Love,
Syd

(www.glitterwonderland.com)

My website, www.GlitterWonderland.com has launched!

Welcome to my Glitter Wonderland!

After tons of content writing on my part, and tons of design and development on my fiancee’s part, my website has finally launched!

http://www.GlitterWonderland.com

I hope that you’ll check it out and let me know what you think! If you’re interesting in checking out my future husband’s work, check out http://www.Scottbokma.com . He’s a fantastic artist and wonderful graphic designer (and now he’s starting his redesign of his site as well!). He really made my site super professional and beautiful. I’m also ridiculously lucky to get the chance to call him husband. He’s pretty magic.
Kisses!

Sydni Deveraux

Why burlesque?

The costumes. The glamour. Alone on a stage with a sea of admiring, intrigued people. The community. The movement. The tease. Entertaining the audience.

I suppose I do it for the fleeting glorious moments on stage. There is nothing like commanding an audience to look at you, to see what ideas you are putting onto the stage. For the hour before hitting the stage, I primp, polish and review my music, walk around in my rhinestoned heels to make sure I feel stable, fret a little, and stretch my arms to make sure that they are as graceful as they can be. I often order a Manhattan and if there’s access to the mainfloor, sit with a friend or my beau to watch the rest of the show before I go on, or if I’m first, join them there after I’ve changed out of my costume.

I admit, I do like it when people talk to me before and after a show, admiring my performances, my presence, my presentation. It tickles me. It means I’m doing my job right. The shy human in the corner trying not to stare appreciatively also pleases me to no end.

I do it, because being entertaining is fulfilling to me, the costumes delight me, and dancing feeds my soul. The first moments on stage are absolutely electric. You have a very small amount of time to grip the audience into believing your story on stage. I feel as if those moments are the most important, since it’s excruciatingly hard to regain them in the middle or end of the act. You certainly don’t want them to be happy you’re done with an act, do you?

I’m mostly inspired by my community in Seattle by the likes of Waxie Moon, Evilyn Sin Claire, Inga Ingenue, Miss Indigo Blue, Ernie Von Schmaltz, Ben De La Creme, Heidi Von Haught and a few others. Their imagination, confidence and skill are phenomenal assets to our performance communities.

When I first began my crazy trip into a glitter wonderland, I found Catherine D’Lish, Immodesty Blaize, Tigger!, Julie Atlas Muz, Michelle L’amour, The Pontani Sisters and Miss Dirty Martini and nearly lost my mind watching their deeply unique and fascinating interpretations of their burlesque. They entertain me and make me think. I very much appreciate that I have had wonderful interactions and with some, friendships that continue to make my stay here in the world of burlesque a worthwhile one.

I’ve been at it for since 2005, and I’m only picking up speed!

Bio

Classic Striptease Artist Sydni Deveraux hails from Seattle, Washington. She has performed internationally and in such acclaimed shows such as The New Orleans Burlesque Festival, Amsterdam Burlesque Festival, The Slipper Room, Moisture Festival, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, Seattle international film festival, Tease-o-Rama and of course-the “superbowl of burlesque”-Exotic World (also known as) The Burlesque Hall of Fame.

Miss Deveraux has performed in shows that have also featured Catherine D’Lish, Dirty Martini, Michelle L’amour, Tigger!, Lily Verlaine, Waxie Moon, Roxi D’Lite and the REIGNING Burlesque Hall of Fame’s (2011) Queen Of Burlesque- Miss Indigo Blue!

With beautiful exotic features, and at a statuesque and very leggy 6’2″, she is one of the tallest established performers in the business. Sydni’s charming performance style is an entertaining mix of wit, finesse and sophisticated musicality.

“The Golden Glamazon” is a trained jazz singer, host, teacher of performance and burlesque privately and through Miss Indigo Blue’s Academy Of Burlesque. As a producer of over 100 successful shows over the last few years- including Seattle’s longest running weekly review with a rotating cast “Burlesque Behind the Pink Door” (in The historic Pike Place Market)- Sydni Deveraux has been a fixture in the burlesque community for over 6 years.

Voted one of 2010’s TOP 100 Burlesque Entertainers in the world by 21stcenturyburlesque.com!

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.